Mar 18, 2024
In a heartfelt and candid episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis engages in an inspiring conversation with Joe Martin, the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness and a dedicated father. As Joe reflects on his journey as both a father and a mentor to middle school-aged children, he emphasizes the importance of perseverance, positivity, and building strong relationships. The discussion delves into Joe's personal struggles, triumphs, and the profound impact of leading by example in fatherhood and fitness.
Mentoring and Building Relationships:
Joe Martin sheds light on the pivotal role of mentoring, particularly with middle school-aged children, recognizing this age group's vulnerability and potential. He stresses the significance of trusted resources outside the home, like a coach, in connecting with kids and fostering meaningful relationships. Joe's emphasis on building relationships with children through shared activities and finding common ground underscores the powerful impact of positive mentorship.
Fitness and Overcoming Challenges:
As the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness, Joe Martin's passion for fitness emanates from his experiences as an athlete, where he battled weight gain and injury during his football career. Through his own fitness journey, Joe not only overcame adversity but also redefined his identity. His journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of perseverance and the impact of modeling a healthy lifestyle for children.
Personal Transformation and Resilience:
Joe Martin's openness about his past struggles, including arrests and incarceration, offers a poignant insight into his journey of redemption and personal transformation. His determination to change his lifestyle, while initially centered on weight loss, ultimately led to a holistic transformation, reinforcing the importance of resilience in overcoming adversity.
Parenting and Fatherhood:
The conversation pivots to the challenges and triumphs of fatherhood, with Joe Martin eloquently articulating the emotional journey of watching his son embark on a new chapter at the Air Force Academy. Through his vulnerability, Joe emphasizes the importance of allowing children to fail, sharing personal struggles, and prioritizing one's spouse in parenting. His candid reflections resonated with Dr. Christopher Lewis and emphasized the depth of emotional investment inherent in fatherhood.
The Power of Positivity and Community:
Joe Martin's dedication to spreading positivity is not confined to fitness but permeates his podcast and book, both titled "Relentless Positivity." During the conversation, the significance of countering negativity with uplifting narratives and inspiring stories becomes evident. His book, combining personal experiences with lessons on fitness and back pain management, emphasizes flexibility and inspiration over rigid approaches—underscoring the value of a positive mindset.
Fatherhood Insider and Community Engagement:
Dr. Christopher Lewis invites dads to join the Fatherhood Insider, a valuable resource, and encourages involvement in the Dads with Daughters Facebook community. This proactive approach seeks to foster a supportive environment where fathers can learn from each other's experiences, gaining insights and strengthening their roles as active participants in their daughters' lives.
The engaging conversation with Joe Martin encompasses the profound impact of mentorship, fitness, and positive parenting. His journey from adversity to resilience, coupled with his unwavering dedication to fatherhood and positivity, serves as an inspiring example to all. By amplifying the importance of building strong relationships, personal transformation, and embracing a mindset of relentless positivity, Joe Martin's narrative resonates deeply with the mission of "Dads with Daughters" in promoting and empowering positive father-daughter relationships.
TRANSCRIPT
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads,
resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you
guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising
them to be strong, independent Women. Really excited to have you
back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a
journey together. You know, I've got 2 daughters. You've Got
Daughters. We're on this fatherhood journey together, and we're
doing the things that we can do to be able to be the best dads that
we wanna be. And the That comes with work, that comes with some
hard work, that comes through the days, the weeks, the months, the
years that the You go side by side with your children to be able to
help them to be the people that you're hoping that they become, and
you don't have to do this alone. I've said that Numerous times, and
I will continue to say it.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:01:03]:
There are so many other dads out there that are going through the
same journey, And they struggle with very similar things, and they
go about fatherhood in different ways. And that's why it's so
important that we have these conversations, that we sit down, we
Dog. Talk about it. We build a community for you to be able to meet
other dads, learn from them because there's no one right way the
father. There's many different ways that people do father, and you
learn along the way. You learn as things change in your life, in
your kids' life. And you can learn from the dads around you, but
you can also learn from dads through things like this. That's why
every week I love being able to Dog.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:01:42]:
Talk with you, sit down with you, and bring you different guests
with different perspectives, different experiences that can help
You to think about fatherhood in a little bit different way. This
week, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Martin is the
owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness. He teaches in person as
well as online classes. He's won several awards, including
Huntsville's healthiest trainer, Huntsville's healthiest male. The
Relentless Positivity Fitness was was just recently voted the best
place in Huntsville to work out, and his book, the Relentless
positivity hit the Amazon's bestseller list. Now we're gonna learn
a little bit more about that, but he has a long journey of being a
athlete and working in fitness and found also at one point, he was
above 50 pounds overweight. And I I think all of us at one point in
life can probably look at that and look at ourselves and say, are
we where we wanna be, and how is that impacting us as men, But also
how is that impacting us as fathers? And it's a it becomes a
turning point for yourself, and it was a turning point for Joe
too.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:02:47]:
So I'm really excited to be able to to learn from him today, learn
from him as a father. He's a father of a son who is just about to
go off to the Air Force Academy, and he's gonna grow. He's gonna
fly off the nest here to go and do go into the next phase of his
life. Doug. So he is going through when I what I told you I was
going through last year. So I'm really excited to talk to him, to
learn from him, and to share him with you. Joe, thanks so much for
being here today.
Joe Martin
[00:03:14]:
Dog. I'm really excited to be here. We talked a little bit before
we we started that there's no instruction manual when it comes to
being a dad. So what you're doing is so important. Building strong
dads out there that can build strong daughters Doc. It's so
important. It kinda, you know, that old Frederick Douglass quote
talked about it. It's it's much easier to build strong children
than it is to fix or or repair a broken man or a Woman.
Joe Martin
[00:03:32]:
I'm in the fitness world, so I've been training women exclusively
for 15 years. And a lot of the stuff they're dealing with as adults
goes back to childhood. What you're doing right now, helping people
cut that off before it ever happens, man. It's so important. So I
appreciate what you're doing out there.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:03:44]:
So now I usually start with some conversations to talk about the
What it was like to be a father of a daughter. You don't have that
experience, but you do have a you were a father of a son. So talk
to let's go back a little bit. Let's talk a little bit about that
journey that you've been on the And what you've had to learn along
the way. So let's turn the clock back. Your son is a senior in high
school, and as you think back to that first moment, the first
moment when you found out that you were going to be a father, what
was going through Doug.
Joe Martin
[00:04:07]:
Man, all the emotions. All of them. You think, oh my gosh. I'm not
ready. I'm excited. I need to make more money. I need to be less
busy. All these things are going through your head.
Joe Martin
[00:04:16]:
Doc. You don't know what to expect. You know, anytime you you're
doing something new, all the fear comes in. Also a lot of
excitement, and I was really excited about being a dad. I had
amazing parents growing up. So I kinda I got modeled that growing
up. I was excited to give it a shot. And I was the 1st in my family
to have a kid, man.
Joe Martin
[00:04:29]:
So it's very exciting. I've got 2 brothers and 1 older, 1 younger.
So I was, like, kind of the first one. So no one the They couldn't
ask my brothers about us, you know, but I've got a lot of people
around me that really helped me out. But mainly, it was just the
overwhelming thing with excitement and gratitude, just be able to
have this chance to be a dad.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:04:43]:
Now fatherhood is never Always roses. It's not always easy. You go
through peaks and valleys as you go along. Talk to me about Doc.
What you had to go through as a father to be able to be the father
that you wanted to be as you went through those peaks and
valleys.
Joe Martin
[00:05:00]:
I think a lot of it's, you had a previous guest Docs. Talking about
watching your kids fail. How it's it's so hard to do, but man, it's
so important. Even watching them hurt themselves. You know, when
you tell them over and over, don't do that. Dog. Well, words mean
one thing, actions mean another. You know, when they go and I tried
to tell you and then you, you know, you touch the burning stove or
whatever that version of that for your kid is.
Joe Martin
[00:05:19]:
But That was one I'm just watching them fail. I mean, it's so
tough. You wanna put them in this, you know, bubble wrap and send
them out the world, and don't get hurt. Don't have to any
challenges, but that's not the way the world works. Docs. And
that's not how you grow, and that's not how you change. That was a
tough lesson to learn. Also with, sports, like, you mentioned I was
an athlete growing up.
Joe Martin
[00:05:35]:
My son sports important to him. He's gonna go play Dault Air Force
Academy. It's huge opportunity. But just looking back on his
journey, when he first started getting a sport, he's telling me,
oh, how good I was back in the day. Nobody cares about Dog. Right?
Are you sure about how good you were? That doesn't mean anything to
these kids. Tell them your struggles. Tell them that, hey, man.
Joe Martin
[00:05:51]:
I had this coach that told me I would never play a down on varsity
ever. Tell them I was scared the to death to go out of my 1st
varsity game. I thought I was gonna throw up. You know, all these
things that share your struggles. That's where they lean in and
connect, and they say, oh, okay. Well, I struggle. I'm not very
good at this yet.
Joe Martin
[00:06:06]:
The I just started playing this. I don't wanna hear about
how good you are. I'm terrible at this. I wanna hear that
there's a chance that you struggled and you became better. I think
as dads, you kinda wanna, back in the day, talk about how good you
are and how you the Throw that football over a mountain back in
your day. But if you can if you can share your struggles, I think
that was a big lesson that I learned personally that, you know,
they're gonna connect with that much more than they are. You talk
about how good Door Stuff. And then just, hey, teaching them that
your wife, their mother is the most important thing in their world.
And you you do that by you modeling I'll tell
Joe Martin
[00:06:34]:
Doc. Tell you this what. I had one of my mentors tell me one
time that put your wife on a pedestal and see what child you raise.
Put your wife down all the time and see what kind of a person he
become. Doc. You could talk like I said, we talked about earlier.
All these words are very important, but they can wanna wanna watch
what you do with your actions. So if you, you know, put your wife
up on a pedestal to show you how important she is, how the She
loved all these things, and you continue to date your wife, love
your wife, show what love a true relationship looks like. That's
what they're gonna do. But if you go the other way, it's Docs.
Joe Martin
[00:07:00]:
What they're gonna do as well.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:07:00]:
So talk to me about the hardest part that you have found in being a
dad to a son and just being a father in general. What's been the
hardest part for you?
Joe Martin
[00:07:08]:
I think the hardest part for me is coming Dog. He leaves. And he
goes, he's the only child, man. This is, my wife and I's only
child. We've been tight since day 1. And and just, you know, that
Daily routine and just checking in and doing all these things. And
our life pretty much revolves around what he does. His activities,
hanging out with him, Doc.
Joe Martin
[00:07:24]:
Seeing him and his girlfriend, what they're doing, going to church
together, all these things. I mean, like, 3 fourths of our days
revolves around, yo, what's he doing? Yo, man, what's he doing?
What are we doing together? What's for dinner? That's a big one
around here because he's a he's a big kid, man, so he's always
eating. That's gonna be tough. That's what I like I said, our daily
routines, his basketball games, his school, dude, his laundry. I'm
I'm not gonna lie. I'm not I'm not ready for that one to go away,
but there's a lot of thing. I think that's that one's coming up.
He's been a pretty awesome kid growing up.
Joe Martin
[00:07:50]:
Probably the ones I've I've shared before the biggest struggle,
just watching him fail along the way and have watching him hurt,
have his heart broken, you know, when his 1st girlfriend breaks up
and those type of things are so hard to go through. Dog. I imagine
this one coming up is gonna be big. When you're going through it
right now, let me ask you. How's that going for you so far?
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:08:03]:
You know, it is different. We but we have 2 kids, so we still have
1 at home, but They both daughters are very different from one
another. So my oldest was uber involved in everything. So just like
your son, the We got involved in all the things that she did.
Whereas my younger daughter is not involved as much Dog. In is
involved in very few things that she gets involved in. And because
of that, she is just a very different kid. And so There is a sense
of loss when you as parents, when you start missing out on the The
things that your kids used to do that you spent a lot of time
doing.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:08:47]:
You have to get over it and you have to keep keep going. And just
because they're Not there and not doing those things doesn't mean
you can't go to the basketball games or to the you know, if they
were in involved in marching band, go to the marching band
competitions or Or other things like that, but it's just different.
And you have to then adjust, and you have to look at the new
normal. And I know it's gonna be very different when the youngest
goes off to college, and then we are empty nesters per se. And
you're only seeing them when they come home for Breaks or in
between terms. I mean, your kid's gonna be going far away from
home. My kid went about 11 hours away from home. Dom.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:09:27]:
So we try to stay in contact through things like FaceTime or
through weekly check ins, daily check ins, but we let her tell us
the what the schedule needs to be and try not to push our agenda of
wanting to talk to her. And I'm sure that pretty much every the
Parent has to have that kind of a conversation. It has to be
willing to let go and step back and be willing to let their kid fly
a bit And then let them dictate how much or how little that they do
communicate. I found that I was over communicating a little bit.
The And my wife came to me and said, our daughter has said that
you're sending too many things. And I said, that wasn't my intent.
The I was just responding to what she was sending me. Well, she was
responding to me because I was sending her something, but I was
sending too much.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:10:20]:
So I said, okay. I will step back. I won't say anything, and I will
let her take the lead. And it's it's hard to do, Dog. But you have
to do it.
Joe Martin
[00:10:31]:
For sure. Yeah. That's what we're looking at. And then who are my
wife and I when we don't have kids together? We have to kinda
rekindle that and figure out what we look like together as a couple
without the kids. So that's gonna be another Docs. When you go to
Air Force Academy, you got 6 week to boot camp, 0 communications.
That's gonna be something that we struggle with right there. And
then he's gonna be super busy, Dog.
Joe Martin
[00:10:47]:
That's part that's how it works. That's how it's supposed to work.
Talk about flying out of the nest. That's how it's supposed to
work. Right? You graduate high school. You're supposed to go be
your own person, and Dog. Probably the best way. Just rip the Band
Aid.
Joe Martin
[00:10:57]:
Let's get it going.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:10:57]:
That definitely is ripping off the Band Aid when they fly away and
they go for the first time That far away, we had those
conversations about you're not gonna be able to come home. You're
not gonna be able to constantly be able to just leave for a weekend
and take a trip back Because of the expense and the amount of time,
and we may see you once or twice the in a term. And that becomes
the reality when your child does go far away. But that happens even
after they graduate from college or they go the Into the workforce,
and they move away if they're not gonna be close to home, and then
you have to deal with that too. And you're right, though. You do
have to come to that new reality with your with your partner in
life the To be able to figure out who you are again and hopefully
along the time, along the years that you have been together, That
you have built a strong foundation so that when all that time and
all that effort that you have put into raising your the Child goes
away, and I say go away. It's still there because you're always
gonna be a parent, but it's different. And the house is much
quieter, and the You're going to have to come up with that new
normal so that you still connect and that you then have other
things to connect on Outside of all of the effort and time and
passion that you put into raising your child.
Joe Martin
[00:12:17]:
I'm not gonna lie. I'm I'm kinda excited to see what it looks
like. The My wife jokes around that she's just gonna adopt another
basketball player. We'll do it all over again. And I've I've nixed
that idea, but she's she might be serious. I'm not sure.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:12:26]:
There's been some families that I know that after their child
graduates or leaves, they may have exchange students, or they may
do something else Doc. To fill that void, to be able to or or they
get involved with mentoring, or they get involved in coaching, or
they get involved in something else Doc. That still connects them
with youth in different ways because of the void that they feel
internally.
Joe Martin
[00:12:53]:
Yeah. I get that. I've been working with kids for a while. Still
end up Dom. Middle school age is 10 to 14 year old. That's when
kind of a that's the age it's so crucial, and it's it's a tough
age. So I like to work with that age group. I imagine I'll put more
resources Docs.
Joe Martin
[00:13:05]:
That. We we did have an opportunity to host a foreign exchange
student from Croatia. I'm not sure if we're gonna do it or not, but
he's a basketball player. So my wife's pretty excited about that.
So Doug. I don't know. We'll we'll see what that looks like, but
you're right, man. It's gonna be something you can put your
energies into.
Joe Martin
[00:13:17]:
I'm excited about that as well. Just kinda freeing up that space to
to make a difference. Dogs.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:13:21]:
Now I know you said you work with a lot of that middle school age
population, but you also have done a lot with mentoring and and
trying to build those strong relationships with not only the kids
that you're mentoring, but your own son as well. And I know you've
done things to be able to better understand what mentoring the is
or should be. So talk to me about mentoring and the importance of
mentoring in kids and what you found the That you've had to do to
be that positive mentor for youth that you work with.
Joe Martin
[00:13:50]:
Yeah. We also talked a little bit before we got on about how we're
kinda experts in our field, But our kids don't care. You know, you
hear she was talking to your daughter about getting college
admission. People pay you really good money to do that. People pay
really good money to me to do fitness. Our kids do not care. So you
kinda need that trusted resource outside of the home that can help,
like a coach or something like that. That's kinda where I'd my I
got a coaching background.
Joe Martin
[00:14:11]:
I coach fitness. I coach football. Doc. That's where my background
came from. So so with some kind of some steps you could do if
you're looking to connect with your kid, or maybe it's you're an
uncle or something like that. You wanna help out one Doc. Your
friend's daughters or something like that. You're an aunt.
Joe Martin
[00:14:22]:
Something like that you wanna help out. 1st, though, you gotta make
a connection somehow. These kids have to know that you care about
them. You have your best interest in mind. Doc. And I'm just
saying, if they like it, I love it. You know, I got kids that they
wanna talk about Minecraft. Not my favorite subject.
Joe Martin
[00:14:35]:
I don't know if you're familiar with Minecraft, but if they like
it, I love it. So I'm gonna find out what is what is about it. I'm
gonna, hey. What what are you doing with that pickaxe? And they're
like, what do you know about pickaxe? I was like, well, what I
Googled. That's what I know about it. But, Dog. Just kind of
finding the the common ground that we can work from there. A lot of
the kids I work with, they like my dog.
Joe Martin
[00:14:52]:
We can just talk about my dog because Doug. I I don't know if
you've seen that with your kids that it's easier to get them to
talk when you're doing an activity rather than sit down and just
face to face, we're talking like we are right now. My son, it was
Doc. Either we'll we'll be in the car and we'd be driving, so it's
not the awkward, like, staring at each other, or we go throw the
football or shoot baskets or do something else other than just sit
there face to face and have Dads With conversation. We've had some
of those, some important ones. You gotta sit down and do that. But
to kinda get them to talk to you sometimes, it's easier if you're
doing an activity. So we kinda take it Dog.
Joe Martin
[00:15:21]:
The approach, like, for me, it's fitness mentoring is what I look
at it. The kids kinda come in and think, oh, I'm gonna exercise and
get a little bit better shape and do some things like this. So it's
not like Doc. Most kids are, hey. I wanna go get mentored. They
don't really know what that means, but they've you know, I wanna go
in there and do some fun exercise, move around a little bit.
Because the first thing you do is gotta make that connection.
Dom.
Joe Martin
[00:15:39]:
If you're a parent, you probably have that connection with your
kid. But if you're mentoring another kid, you probably need to find
some kind of way. I recommend looking and finding out what they're
most into, and you get into it as well. Dog. And we start there.
And then far as what we actually do together, far as goal setting
and things like that, I'll talk to the parents, I'll talk to the
kids, and we'll figure out a a realistic goal that they can do.
Doc. Some of them just wanna move around a little bit, just feel
better.
Joe Martin
[00:15:59]:
A lot of kids I work with, they're not athletes. They're more on
the computer game side. They're ready to play the A video game or
or read a book or something like that, more artistic or things like
that, that the physical realm is not really something they're
familiar with. I mean, just getting them moving a little bit is so
big as far as mentally, the Physically, emotionally, all these
different things because and a lot of them are have to do with
bullying. So if we can just get talking about that, and that's a
big thing, Dog. Especially at that age group. It's middle school,
5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grade, around there. Like I said, I've been
working with kids about 15 years and social media changed the
game.
Joe Martin
[00:16:29]:
And then COVID changed it even more. Even the past 3 years, I've
seen a huge difference in how the kids are in the past few years. A
lot of it gets back to the parents. Docs. Some of them kinda
checked out during the pandemic. They're dealing with so much other
stuff. They kinda checked out and the kids are kinda left to do
their own thing.
Joe Martin
[00:16:45]:
And just getting back in and making a physical connection. These
kids, a lot of them don't have in person friends like we used to
growing up that we didn't have choice. Doggy. The kids in your
neighborhood and things like that. Some there's kids all around my
neighborhood. I rarely see them outside. We I live right next to a
park.
Joe Martin
[00:16:59]:
And unless there's organized sports, Dog. Many kids that just go
out and play and do physical activities. Just kind of getting to
reconnect with that and just get kids moving. It doesn't matter
what kind of movement. We're not doing Docs. Some kind of serious
fitness program or something like that. If we can just teach kids
some general movement patterns and and we got one because I have a
I got hardwood floors in my gym. 1 Dog.
Joe Martin
[00:17:18]:
Kid, he likes to take his shoes off. I have TRX. He likes to slide
on his socks on the hardwood floors. And we have set up these foam
rollers. So it's like this Angry Birds game where he knocks over
the the Foam rollers like he's bowling himself. So it's great
movement. He's moving. He's moving his body.
Joe Martin
[00:17:31]:
So find find another connection and getting them moving. Just those
2 things right there can make a huge difference for these
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:17:36]:
So you've been doing fitness for a long time, and you as I said at
the very beginning, you have a business called relentless
positivity fitness. The And and you also have a podcast called
relentless positivity podcast. And, you know, you're doing a lot of
different things to engage people in different ways, kids, but also
adults, To be able to push them to find fitness in their lives,
what drew you into fitness, and why did you decide that this was
your your calling and your passion?
Joe Martin
[00:18:04]:
I was an Athlete all growing up, all through high school. And then,
I played football as my main sport. Start off as a tight end. If
you're familiar with football, that guy blocks a little bit. He
catches a little bit. I cannot catch very well, and I gained a lot
of weight, Docs. So I became a lineman.
Joe Martin
[00:18:15]:
So if you're familiar with lineman, there's, like, big guys that
run into other big guys. So so I was playing football. I was about
250, 260 pounds, and I got hurt. I was gonna go play in college,
but I got hurt. So Dog. I put my whole life into football. That was
all I care about in high school. I just knew I was going all the
way.
Joe Martin
[00:18:29]:
Right? I was one of those kids that that that was kind of my
identity. You know, when you're in high school, you've Dog. Find
your niche, and that's who you are. I'm in the band. I'm play
sports, so I do this. Whatever it is, you kinda put yourself in
this box, and that's who you are. Dog. So without that, I I kinda
felt lost.
Joe Martin
[00:18:41]:
You know, getting arrested, and I went to jail. And then just all
these things started spiraling out of control. It got to the point
where I was suicidal. That's Knowles. Passionate about working with
these kids because I've been there too. So I kinda got to the point
in my life that I gotta do something. And I started with losing
weight Dog. Because I every time I looked in the mirror, it's just
a reminder that I don't look good, I don't feel good, and I'm not
the person I wanna be.
Joe Martin
[00:19:02]:
So I started Doc. With one little thing, just I started reading
food label. They'll label full. They'll tell you what's in there,
how many calories, and all these things, and what you're putting
into your body. So I started there and started the Losing weight.
Like I said, I lost 50 pounds. I felt great. Like, man, I would
love to help other people have the same feeling.
Joe Martin
[00:19:16]:
So that's where I went from there. It's just that that's how I got
into the fitness Dog. I've been on the other side where every day,
you know, your body hurts and you don't feel good. This is not who
I wanna be. Not that your weight defines who you are or anything
like that, Dog. But it can be a reminder that, man, I just I just
don't feel good.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:19:30]:
You definitely can feel that way, especially as you get older and
and the the Lack of movement, the lack of of intentional movement,
I'll say, can definitely impact you and lead to the Other health
implications in the future. Now as fathers, I think you said at the
beginning, you know, we need to model the Not only the
relationships that we want our kids to have, but we also need to
model the lifestyle that we want our kids to see. And If we are out
and we're active and we're actively engaging with them and we're
playing shooting baskets or we're out doing walks or running or the
At the gym or whatever it might be, our kids are gonna see that.
None. They may not follow. As you said, you've been doing fitness
and your kid doesn't like to listen to you. I get that. But at the
same time, though they don't say that they are listening, they're
listening or they're seeing, and it does impact in many different
ways.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:20:27]:
So the For a father that is hearing your journey and thinking to
themselves, I need to take that next step because the I'm hurting.
I can't keep up with my kids. I am having a hard time just day to
day, and I need to do something to start moving the needle. The
What are some things that they can do to start that? Maybe not even
going to a gym, but just starting something to be able to Docs.
Start seeing some gains in some aspects.
Joe Martin
[00:20:56]:
I think the biggest mistake people make, and you'll see it in
January, but when the gym is absolutely packed the 1st 2 weeks of
January, the And then by week 3, 4, it started to look like a ghost
town. You know, they say by 90 days into the new year, 90% of
people started working out, they're done. It's over. They've given
up. So people come in and wanna do I'm gonna exercise for 2 hours
every day. I'm gonna eat broccoli and chicken every this is my
year, and it's not sustainable. I suggest you start with something
so small that it seems like nothing. That you have on a scale of 1
to 10, you're about a 9 or 10.
Joe Martin
[00:21:27]:
I could definitely Doc. Maybe it's a 5 minute walk. I don't know
where you are in your journey right now. Maybe you need to take a 5
minute walk. Walk around the block. Maybe you do a couple squats.
Dog. Maybe go and ride your bike.
Joe Martin
[00:21:37]:
Something so small, maybe you just need to drink a little more
water, and then you start adding these on. So if you can just do
one thing, do it consistently, and then you layer things on. The 5
minutes this week. Maybe you do. Maybe you do 7 minutes next week
around the block. Go a little bit further. Because what you'll find
usually if you start with that 5 minutes, oh, well, I can do 10
today. With the whole thing, the As humans, we're we're built to
conserve energy.
Joe Martin
[00:21:57]:
Right? That's just kinda through evolution. That's what got us
here. So naturally, we are quote, unquote lazy. Docs. That's just
your body trying to save you from doing we're not supposed to be
out there running marathons. Right? So if you can do that, if you
can just talk yourself into that 5 minutes, Doc. Usually, a lot
more will actually happen. But if not, at least you got that 5
minutes in.
Joe Martin
[00:22:14]:
You're getting consistent with it. Because don't be the person that
goes in and they just Dog. Have an amazing 1 week in January, and
then the other 51 weeks, they do not get I'd much rather you come
in slow. Number 1, you're not gonna hurt yourself like a lot of
people do. Doc. It's gonna be sustainable, and you're gonna go
slowly add these on where it's not overwhelming and it's
sustainable. You want a plan that's sustainable that you actually
enjoy. If you can find a way to move your body that the like, don't
not what someone told you is the best way to burn fat or build
muscle or all this.
Joe Martin
[00:22:42]:
What do you like to do? I remember years ago at my church, there
was this guy, Dog. 80 year old man. He kinda came up to me. He's
like, oh, asking me these fitness questions. He said, well, this is
kind of embarrassing, but I like to do hip hop abs. He had a VCR
tape with Sean Tee. This guy did hip hop ads. The guy is probably
not the target market for this video, but he did it all the time,
and he did great.
Joe Martin
[00:23:02]:
It's like, that's not embarrassing, man. That's awesome. I wish I
was in my eighties doing a hip hop ab routine. That's very cool. So
it's just finding a way you enjoy moving your body and doing on a
consistent basis Doc. And be amazed at what other habits start
coming in. Because you start exercising a little more, well, maybe
I'll start eating a little bit better because maybe I can, you
know, do a little bit better in my class that I'm taking or I go a
little bit further.
Joe Martin
[00:23:21]:
Drink a little more water, none of them exercising more. And maybe
if you cut down on my drinking a little bit, and all these things
start kinda layering in. But if you try to do them all at once,
they all tend to just fall off.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:23:31]:
Definitely, I've seen that as well. And you're completely right.
You get into that mode of the, New Year's resolutions. And you
say, oh, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. And a lot of times,
the bar is set so high, it's really hard to maintain. And the So
then at the end, you end up failing. And and that says something to
your kids do, and they see that. The Indeed. I I think you're
completely right when you say that you start small and start
something just to start something and then work up from there. The
Doesn't mean you have to be ready for an ultra marathon a month
into working out.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:24:08]:
You're not gonna be there, and that's okay. You just have to take
the time to prepare Doc. And to move toward the goals that you want
to set and be and then go from there as well.
Joe Martin
[00:24:18]:
And I think it's very important to let your kids see you struggle
with exercise. If it's tough, you don't don't hide that from your
kid. Let them see because they're gonna be there one day, whether
it's it's an injury or maybe they'll let themselves get out of
shape or maybe they don't exercise at all now. But they see you
Docs. Doing that dead I love to see people who look like they
haven't exercised in a way, but they're out there doing it. That's
the people that people try to make fun of and things like that. I
love to see people out there. So Docs.
Joe Martin
[00:24:39]:
Those are people that haven't given up. I think that says much more
to your kids than someone who's always stayed in shape and things
like that. It's so hard to start. Doc. Just whatever it is, it's so
hard to get going. If you can just get started, that's usually the
hardest part. So letting your kids see that it's okay to struggle.
They'll they'll Put that maybe they're not fitness or something
like that.
Joe Martin
[00:24:55]:
Maybe it's school or or relationships or things like that. Seeing
you struggle and not give up is so important. Like you Talked About
Modeling. That's a huge thing right there.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:25:03]:
It definitely is. Now I know I mentioned the fact that you also
have a podcast and a book. Doc. Talk to me about those. And what
are people gonna find if they, you know, listen in to your
relentless positivity podcast or they pick up the book itself?
What's your hope that the When someone listens or when they read,
what are they gonna take out of
Joe Martin
[00:25:21]:
those? With the podcast, I started that during the pandemic. I
think a lot of people found a little no time on their hands. I
wrote the book during the pandemic as well. It's just all I saw on
the news was negativity, and that's what was kinda was just
everywhere. Whether you're reading or watching the news or anything
like that, I just wanna counterbalance that with having people on
there that are like yourself that are doing amazing things out in
the world that maybe people don't they haven't heard about it that
need to be highlighted Noor stories or people out there that are
changing the worlds in their neighborhood. Those unsung heroes. I
love to highlight them. And just fun stories and maybe some dad
jokes in there.
Joe Martin
[00:25:51]:
You know, those are very important Docs. And things like that. They
weren't getting shared. So I just that's why I started that, and
it's just what we're doing. And then with the book, I just wanted
to have it's kinda more I call it infotainment. Doc. Right. So I
share stories from my life to kinda have some lessons about how you
can lose weight, get in shape, and have less back pain, and things
like that.
Joe Martin
[00:26:06]:
That they're not about, here's Docs. Exactly what to do and why
you're an idiot if you don't do it this way. There's options.
There's ways to do it. There's strategies and things like that. And
some inspiration. All those things that I Dog. I think there's a
lot of negativity in the fitness world that people if you don't do
it this way, then there's no other way to do it.
Joe Martin
[00:26:22]:
So this kinda would giving people options, giving them inspiration,
and you're doing it the In a positive manner because it's gonna get
tough. You know, how do you handle the rough times when they come
in? Whether it's, you know, life or your fitness or things like
that. Do you handle the tough times? That's what's gonna define who
you are and what you succeed in life about. So I just wanna kinda
help people out with that. Just see I just trying to fill needs
that I thought were not being filled. So that's kinda why the Start
with the book as well as the podcast.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:26:43]:
Oh, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our
fatherhood five, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper
into you as a dad. Are you ready?
Joe Martin
[00:26:50]:
I'm ready.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:26:50]:
The In one word, what is fatherhood?
Joe Martin
[00:26:52]:
Strength.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:26:53]:
When's the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a
father?
Joe Martin
[00:26:56]:
I think when my son did his commitment to the Air Force Dog. To
play basketball. Man, that was just a culmination of all these
years of watching him struggle and become who he is as a man. It's
just it was a great moment.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:27:06]:
Now if I was to talk to your son, How would he describe you as a
dad?
Joe Martin
[00:27:10]:
Goofy yet serious about discipline.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:27:12]:
Who inspires you to be a better dad?
Joe Martin
[00:27:14]:
That's my dad. I watched it growing up. Got to see it Firsthand,
best dad ever.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:27:18]:
Now you've given a lot of piece of advice today as we finish up.
What's 1 piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad?
Joe Martin
[00:27:24]:
Don't give up on. Yeah. Doc. I wanna look back on my life when I
was like I said, I was in jail, been on probation, all these
different things. My life did not look that great. Don't give up on
those kids. Just a snapshot of my life. It looked like I was going
nowhere.
Joe Martin
[00:27:36]:
I had no future, nothing going on. Wasn't very good at school. The
Literally did not how to know how to spell the word business.
Spelled it wrong till I got to college. It didn't look good, but my
parents never gave up on me. And I've turned it around, Dog. And
your kids
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:27:48]:
can too. Well, Joe, I really appreciate you being here today. If
people wanna find out more about you and what you're doing, where's
the best place for them to go? I
Joe Martin
[00:27:55]:
can go to my website, the fit and positive .com. You can look it's
got the link for the podcast. It's got the book on there, the
mentoring program, if you wanna know. If you just wanna talk about
how you can help your kids, you the With the mentoring or anything
like that, you can reach out. It's got my contact information on
there. Before I go, if you're listening right now, you need to stop
and give this man Docs. A 5 star review on whatever podcast
platform you're listening for. We need more strong dads out there
raising strong daughters, and he's doing the world a the Good
service out here.
Joe Martin
[00:28:19]:
Give him a 5 star review. He deserved it. You know, you've listened
to him before. He deserved your 5 stars. You do that right now.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:28:24]:
Well, I appreciate you saying that, Joe. And I truly do appreciate
all that you're doing to be able to inspire kids around you,
inspire your own son as he prepares for the future, and I wish you
all the best.
Joe Martin
[00:28:35]:
Thank you very much. Thank you for having me on. This is great.
Keep up the great work. I'd love to have you on my podcast as
well.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:28:39]:
If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters
podcast, we invite to check out the fatherhood insider. The
fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants
to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with
an instruction manual, and most dads are figuring it out as they go
along. And the fatherhood insider is full of resources and
information the that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our
extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step road
maps, the And more. You will engage and learn with experts, but
more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering
together org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet
joined the Dads with Daughters Facebook
community, there's a link in the notes
today.
Dr.
Christopher Lewis [00:29:26]:
Daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to
having you back for another great guest next week all geared to
helping you raise strong, empowered daughters the And be the best
dad that you can be. We're all in the same boat, the and it's full
of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time.
We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents. Bring your A game because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just Dog. Like a dynamite blast calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, Domino's. Be the best dad you can be.